Making Friends Essay Research Paper Making FriendsThe

Making Friends Essay, Research Paper

Making Friends

The process of making a friend is a very unique one. It

depends on the person one is trying to become friends with, it

depends on one’s gender, it depends on one’s age, but most

importantly it depends one’s personality. Every individual is

different and how they make friends differs just as greatly. The

way I make friends depends heavily on my personality. As an

introverted person, I tend to first meet potential friends through

what I call forced association. After the initial meeting, I

evaluate them and determine whether or not I think they should be

my friend. Bonding, specifically male bonding, follows and

acceptance is the final stage.

Before I can delve into the sometimes mysterious process of

becoming friends with someone, I have to divulge some personal

information. I am a great believer in personality typing: the

theory that a great majority of people fall into one personality

type or another. A complete analysis of my personality is not

within the scope of this essay, but suffice it to say that I am

very introverted. This does not mean I am anti-social, it merely

means that new and non-routine interaction with others taxes my

energy. The process of making a new friend is by definition a new

and non-routine interaction, therefore it is quite difficult for me

to initiate the process. This is where the concept of forced

interaction comes in. By forced interaction, I mean a situation

where another person and I are placed in an environment where we

have no choice but to interact with each other. The largest and

most important type of forced interaction for me is school, and

more specifically, classes. It is impossible to be completely

separate from other students in a class. Consequently, I met all

my best friends in school (of course, it was a place that I spent

most of my time so it is not a big surprise). Another type of

forced interaction comes when you meet a friend of one of your

friends. It would be extremely rude to not interact with someone

that your friend considered to be friend. That is the way that I

met a very close friend of mine and one who I will use as an

example of my friend-making process throughout this essay. His

name is Andres and I originally met him through another friend of

mine, Josh. We were all going to the same high school next year

(more forced association), so it was only natural for Josh to try

to have us all become friends. But I was not friends with Andres

when I first met him. I had to figure out who he was before that

could happen.

Evaluation has always been very important to me. I constantly

evaluate and re-evaluate myself, my friends, my schoolwork, and so

forth, almost to the point of obsession. I am ruthlessly self-

critical and it is only natural that this same criticism would

extend to those I consider my friends. Before I can become friends

with someone, I have to determine whether or not I want to be

friends with them. I have been told that this is an extremely

arrogant way of conducting relationships, but I find any other way

to be lacking. If one’s own needs in a relationship are not met

then it is impossible for them to fulfill other’s. The first step

in evaluation is the establishment of common ground. It is very

unlikely that I will become even casual friends with someone who I

have nothing in common with. The more important to me the

commonality is, the more likely I will desire to become close

friends with someone. One of the first things I look for is

intelligence. Part of my personality is the love of intelligence,

which means: doing things well in varying circumstances. A very

important part of a friendship for me is intellectual stimulation.

If it is missing, the friendship will invariably begin to wane. So

intelligence and knowledge are two things I look for almost

immediately in a new acquaintance. Andres possesses both of these

qualities and he possesses them in areas that we both find

interesting. Both of us have an aptitude for the sciences. This

contributed greatly to me finding him worthy to be my friend. But

knowledge and skills alone make a person boring, so I also look for

common personality traits. A love of humor is also necessary, as

is a low degree of self-monitoring: the degree to which people

change to match their surroundings. I am extremely low in that

area as I tend to act the same in any situation. An actor would

have an extremely high degree of self-monitoring. I also look for

a certain callousness in potential friends. Someone who cannot

take or give criticism will not likely last long in a friendship

with me. Andres had all of these things to some degree or another,

so it was only inevitable that we spent more and m

Внимание, отключите Adblock

Вы посетили наш сайт со включенным блокировщиком рекламы!
Ссылка для скачивания станет доступной сразу после отключения Adblock!

Скачать