Victims Of Divorce Essay Research Paper VICTIMS

Victims Of Divorce Essay, Research Paper

VICTIMS OF DIVORCE

Over the past two decades, divorce has become so widespread that it is now considered an unfortunate but inevitable risk of entering into a marriage. At the beginning of this century, getting divorced was a rare, immoral event and a social disgrace. Nowadays, ending a marriage is just a personal choice for most people regardless of its consequences, which exist especially when the children are involved.

One of the many consequences of divorce is that it becomes a crucial factor that affects the children. It is not an issue that only involves the couples. As the trends in marriages change, more and more children are negatively affected by the separations of parents. According to the information statistics on divorce, each year since the mid-1970s, more than 1 million children have experienced a family divorce. “It is projected that nearly half of all the babies born today will spend some time in a one-parent family which occurred as a result of single parenthood or divorce” (Shiono and Quinn 15). This fact indicates that the future of this world will be in the hands of the people who have lived through at least one divorce. That’s why, there should be more emphasis given to divorce and more solutions should be presented for the well being of our children.

Although the parents are not the only ones who should feel responsible of this social failure, the parents can accomplish the most efficient assistance. The cost of divorce to children is so high that there is a lot to be explored, such as how these costs might be minimized and what can be done to heal the scars. That’s why beside the parents, everyone should be held responsible to “maintain the childcare system while dissolving the marital system” (Furstenberg and Cherlin 28).

“The child has no say in drawing up the contract by which he or she comes into the world. Since the parents have all the power in this transaction, they also have the moral duty of making sure the contract is fair to the child” (Little 1).

The process of divorce and separation is very stressful in the life of a child. Most children go through anxiety, sadness, anger, aggression, sleep disorders and low academic achievements (Behrman and Quinn 3). It is important for parents to keep close watch on how their children cope and adjust to the divorce.

Many divorces are highly emotional can draw children into conflict. Some of the children going to a divorce may feel rejected by the departing parent. This feeling of rejection results in lowered self-esteem and depression. Some might even feel responsible for the divorce of their parents (Everett 11). Many of the children become involved in serious drug or alcohol abuse and have a difficult time establishing long-term relationships (Miller). Parents should keep in mind that it is difficult for many children to understand why their parents are not able to live together anymore (Johnston et al. 13).

One of the biggest problems that divorce brings to many parents is guilt. As a result of the parental guilt, people chose to stay together for the sake of their children. Research does not support this belief. It is not in the children’s best interests for the parents to stay together if there is a high chronic marital conflict. “A harmonious intact family is best for children but a harmonious divorced environment is better than a disharmonious intact family.” It is very damaging for children to witness dramatic parental conflict (Teyber 18). “There are some situations, especially those involving physical, sexual, or verbal abuse, where divorce is necessary and even beneficial to families” (Miller).

What becomes important after a separation is to find a way of helping children cope with divorce. Parents should try to diminish the negative effects of divorce on children. In order to make the process less painful for them, parents should encourage kids to talk as openly as they can about their feelings. Many clinicians believe that “the failure of parents to communicate with their children adds to the immediate burden of the divorce for children and contributes to the children’s sense of uncertainty” (Furstenberg and Cherlin 24).

The first two years following a separation are labeled as a crisis period for children and adults (Furstenberg and Cherlin 65). The crisis begins for children with shock, anxiety and anger. Children have two special needs during this period. First, they need additional emotional support and second, they need the structure provided by a reasonably predictable daily routine, (Teyber 63) such as, going to the same school, being able to eat at the same meal times, sleeping on regular basis, and similar playing activities each day. Unfortunately, many single parents cannot meet both of these needs all the time.

Another negative effect of divorce on children is the economical changes in the their lives. Divorced mothers and their children do not regain their standard of living for a long time after the breakup. If the mothers have not been in the job market, it takes a while before they can acquire the skills and experience needed to earn enough to support a family (Everett 100). Children must adjust to a declining economical power. A mother may be less available and her presence may be missed at home, if she has to work numerous hours to support the