The Meaning Behind Marriage Essay Research Paper

The Meaning Behind Marriage Essay, Research Paper

The Meaning Behind Marriage

Welcome to “Hell.” Welcome to the “trap.” Welcome to “the rest or your life.” These words are commonly heard everyday by couples who are engaged to be married. Encouraging words are passed around also, but we all know that few marriages last forever. Marriages should be based on total trust and “togetherness,” and without this, marriage cannot last. Marriage is about knowing the good as well as the bad, the thrills and joys versus the pain and sadness.

A formal definition gives us the scientific meaning behind a word. Dictionaries are the chief providers of these definitions of what people would like to know. According to Webster’s Third New International Dictionary 1986, marriage is defined as “the statute of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband and wife,” or “and intimate close reunion.” After looking into Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language 1996, I found another definition, one that is provided ten years later. The dictionary states marriage is “the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities” and “the state, condition, or relationship of being married, such as wedlock.” I am surprised that none of these dictionaries define marriage with love, happiness, or togetherness. Isn’t that what marriage is all about. Wrong. Marriage is about so much more. Marriage is about survival of the fittest. Only the strong survive.

After the immense possibilities of what marriage is, many would be surprised at what marriage is not. To find what marriage is not, we could express our feelings and opinions, such as marriage is not adultery, divorce, mistrust, disrespect, dishonesty, disloyalty, and convenience. The exact opposite of these words is marriage. Many myths about marriages have evolved throughout our lives and the problem is that many people believe these myths. Would you like to hear some examples. According to the source Psychological Self-Help, “people marry because they are passionately in love’” and “married people love’ each other.” This is just a beginning to the myths. Of course, love is important in a marriage, but do most of us marry because we are in love’ or because we actually love’ the other person. The myth list continues on and on with such things like, “good sex means good marriage,” “most marriages can’t survive a period of hate,” “married people understand each other without talking,” and “good marriages are just simply made in heaven’ and don’t require attention or work” (Psychological Self-Help n.p.). Most of these myths or beliefs’ may contain some truth, but not for all marriages. According to philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “It is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages,” (Psychological Self-Help n.p.). Could this be true. High School Sweethearts’ that marry and grow old together seem to think so. Marriage is knowing somebody your whole life, the good and the bad, and still wanting to be with them, completely. Marriage is not dissatisfaction, but overall complete satisfaction, despite the differences. (Lipthrott n.p.; Miles n.p.; Psychological Self-Help n.p.).

Just as we go through stages of life, within those stages are sub-stages. We grow from infancy to childhood to young adulthood to adult and then finally to an elder. Those sub-stages within these stages are just as important. The sub-stages of a someone’s life molds him/her into the person he/she later becomes. Some of us have horrible childhoods, others have great childhoods. It’s the luck of the draw. The first stage of a relationship is the actual first meeting. It is in those few moments of time that we realize whether or not this could be a friend, something more, or nothing at all. We can have our mind made up within minutes. Then we continue through sub-stages with others until we find that special someone we want to marry. Once we marry, the sub-stages continue on. Three out of the five sources that I researched explained marriage and the five sub-stages that go along with marriage. Within these stages, marriage is examined on why it lasts forever or why it fails. (Lipthrott n.p.; Miles n.p.; Psychological Self-Help n.p.).

Most people, women and men, want to be romanced. We go through “Consummation- – talking, touching, making love’,” feeling that everything is going to last forever (Psychological Self-Help N.P.). This “romantic love” blinds people. Most people take this stage as I am in love and it will always stay this way.’ Most believe that this is what marriage is. Marriage is this passionate love for one another, and nothing is ever going to change that. This is the stage when we start to talk about marriage because we feel that this love’ is going to last forever. Not only is this love on an emotional level, but “there are actually physiological processes that occur” (Lipthrott 1). In every human is a peptide called PEA, or phenoethalymine. This peptide “increases energy, feelings of well being, positive outlook, and diminishes pain” (Lipthrott 1). When the body produces PEA, it gives us the energy to wake up in the morning after no sleep, and it allows the body to function as if we had slept all night. PEA is proven to increase sexual desire, or those “impulses” that we act upon