ParentChild Bonding Essay Research Paper Psychology of

Parent-Child Bonding Essay, Research Paper

Psychology of Parenting

Parent-Child Bonding in Early Childhood

In each person’s life much of the joy and sorrow revolves around attachments or

affectionate relationships — making them, breaking them, preparing for them, and

adjusting to their loss by any means. Yet of all these bonds, nothing compares to that

formed between a mother or father and his or her newborn infant. Bonding does not refer

to mutual affection between a baby and an adult, but to the phenomenon whereby adults

become committed by a one-way flow of concern and affection to children for whom they

have cared during the first months and years of life. According to J. Robertson in his

book, A Baby in the Family Loving and Being Loved, individuals may have several

hundred acquaintances in there lifetimes, but at any given moment there are only a limited

number of persons to whom they are closely attached. He explains that much of the

richness and beauty of life is derived from these close relationships which each person has

with a small number of individuals — mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, son,

daughter, and a small cadre of close friends (Robertson 1).

Attachment is crucial to the survival and development of the infant. Many

researchers suggest that parents bond to their child may be the strongest of all human ties.

This relationship has two distinct segments. The first signs of bonding occur while the

baby develops within the mother s womb. After birth, his survival is utterly dependent on

her until he becomes a separate individual. According to Mercer, the power of this

attachment is so great that it enables parents to make the necessary sacrifices for the care

of their infant. Day after day, night after night; changing diapers, attending to cries,

protecting the child from danger, and feeding him or her in the middle of the night despite

their desperate need to sleep (Mercer 22). It is important to note that this original

parent-infant tie is the major source for all of the infant s subsequent attachment and is the

formative relationship in the course of which the child develops a sense of himself.

Throughout his lifetime the strength and character of this attachment will influence the

quality of all future ties to other individuals. The question is now raised, “What is the

normal process by which a father and mother become attached to a healthy infant.” Since

the human infant is entirely dependent on his mother or caregiver to meet all his physical

and emotional demands, the strength and durability of the attachment may well determine

whether or not he will survive and develop optimally. Experimental data suggest that the

past experiences of the mother are a major determinant in molding her care-giving role.

For their own behaviour, children model adults, especially loved and powerful adults.

Children development literature, states that the powerful process of imitation or modelling

socially inclines children. Unless adults must consciously reexamine their learned

behaviors, they will unconsciously repeat them when they become parents. Therefore, the

way a woman was raised, including the practices of her culture and individual

idiosyncrasies of her own mother’s child raising practices, greatly influences her behavoir

toward her own infant. Bob Brazelton s The Early Mother-Infant Adjustment says that,

“It may seem to many that attachment to a small baby will come naturally and to make too

much of it could be a mistake… but there are many, many women who have a difficult time

making this adjustment…(Brazelton 10). We must understand the ingredients of

attachment in order to help, because each mother-child dyad is unique and has individual

needs of it’s own.

It might be argued that the length of breastfeeding is not a valid assessment of the

strength of bond between mother and infant since it is culture bound. According to Violet

Oaklander in Windows to Our Children, too many variables influence a woman’s decision

to continue breastfeeding to make it a valid assessment of bonding. She explains that a

woman who discontinues breastfeeding to return to work four weeks after delivery can be

just as bonded as a breastfeeding mother who takes a nine-month maternity leave.

Similarly, she explains, the initial decision to breastfeed must be continuously used in the

assessment of bonding (Oaklander 102). A mother’s decision to breastfeed may be an

indication of her willingness to give of herself to her infant, which is characteristic of

bonding.

The parent-infant (father as well as mother) relationship is a continuing process of

adaptation to one another’s needs, and parents should be aware that all is not lost if early

contact is not possible. However, it should emphasized that it should be the mother’s

choice to determine how much time she spends with her infant in the hospital. “When it is

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