Mother Daughter Relationship Essay Research Paper The

Mother- Daughter Relationship Essay, Research Paper

The Bond is Broken:

Jamaica Kincaid accurately portrays how adolescence can strain mother- daughter

relationships. The mother- daughter relationships are universal but “it is not clear why

we avoid the topic”(Gerd). The father- daughter relationships and the mother- sons

relationships are the issues mostly talked about. In Jamaica Kincaid’s novel, Annie John,

she explains and gives insight into mother- daughter relationships. In Annie John, there

are events that make people think about their relationship with their own mother.

Kincaid expresses this relationship through her main character Annie who tries to

find her own identity. The relationship between Annie and her mother (also called Annie)

was very strong and they do a lot of things together. By the time Annie turns twelve, she starts to go through some changes which many teenagers normally goes through. In order for Annie to mature and prepare for the world, Annie’s mother told her to find her own way of life. Due to these new changes, the relationship between Annie and her mother begins to degenerate. Annie now did things her mother disapproved of. At the end of the story, their relationship was okay but not as strong as it was before. After reading this book I saw that the main issue discussed in her novel, is all the stages mother- daughter relationships go through.

The mother- daughter relationships are intense relationships. This is a relationship most daughters have with their mother from birth. Both male and female children are attached to their mother from birth, but most male child quickly grows out of it. The daughter is so attached to the mother in a complex way in which the daughter does not have her own identity. The daughter experiences the world through her mother. In the novel, Annie did many things with her mother and look into the world through her mother.

With all this, Annie wouldn’t know what the world would be like with out her mother.

Frances A. Nadeau, who wrote an article on the mother- daughter relationship, said

“Understanding [this] relationship is critical to young adult girls because daughters

bond with their mothers in a complex, interdependent association that often inhibits

a daughter from establishing her own identity.” Different people might describe this relationship in different ways but one common theme they have is that the daughter cannot do any thing without the mother and she also has her mothers’ image. In the novel, Annie and her mother were almost the same. They wore dresses cut from the same cloth; they went shopping together; and they even took bath together. She did many things with her mother and even wears the same cloth. Annie was like a little mirror of her mother. As the relationship gets to different stage in life it changes. For instance, the relationship you have with your mother when you are a child is different from the one you have during adolescence and it’s also different when you are a mother yourself. But the most difficult stage is during adolescence.

Adolescence is a difficult stage for both the mothers and daughters. Recent studies

show that “adolescence [is] regarded as a time of “storm and stress”, and solely attributed

to the momentous physical and psychological changes that take place” (Marisela, Laura).

Adolescence is a period in which the daughter goes through many physical and emotional changes. It is an interesting but also painful stage for the daughter. When the daughter is between the age twelve and thirteen the daughter might want to be independent or

sometimes the mother tells the daughter it is time for her to find her own way of life. In the novel, Annie’s mother told her when it was time for her to become independent. Making this decision is very hard for the daughter because she didn’t know what the world would be like without her mother with her.

Annie and her mother did a lot of things together and have a very close relationship. On a particular day, Annie and her mother wanted to buy clothes. Then, Annie saw an outfit she liked so she told her mother to buy it with the intention that her mother was going to buy the same one for herself. Annie’s mother replied to her saying, “You can’t go around the rest of your life looking like a little me” (Kincaid 26). Annie was in shock hearing this and she “felt the earth swept away from under [her] …” (Kincaid 26). This responses shows how the daughters will feel when their mothers tell them it is time for them to change. Two studies, Flax in 1978 and Fisher in 1986, show that during this stage of adolescence daughters often have negative attitudes toward their mother (Frances). In the novel, Annie plays marbles and has a friend her mother disapproves of (Kincaid). In the real world, teenage daughters wouldn’t follow their mother’s rules, take drug or alcohol, and even have less concentration in school. With all these problems the relationship between the mother and daughter will not always be on a smooth terms as it was when they did things together.

Research shows that daughters have to let go and begin to do things in their own way and know what the world is like in order for them to gain their own identities (Chesapeake Health). Even

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