Parent Family Relations Essay Research Paper A

Parent Family Relations Essay, Research Paper

A Delicate Balance: Parent Child Relationships.

A parent s influence on their children is immeasurable. With the support and love of their parents, a child can achieve their goals, build self-esteem, and furthermore grow into a respectable, functioning member of society. Conversely, a lack of love and support can result in a less encouraging outcome. Low self-esteem and a negative self-image are not uncommon characteristics of a child raised in a loveless home. Children look up to their parents not only as authority figures, but as role models. However, there are times when a parent does not do an adequate job of filling the position of the role model, so children may search for another elder to look up to and admire. Ultimately, it is nearly necessity for a child to have an authoritative role model in their lives, and much of what that child believes, loves and respects, is passed on to them by that person. This theme is not only apparent in society today but can also be found as a basis for many great novels and plays. In the novels, See the Child written by David Bergen, Childhood by Andre Alexis, The Last of the Crazy People written by Timothy Findley, and the Shakespearean play Hamlet the parent child relationship is not only discussed but also analyzed and questioned. It is apparent, in these works, that the attitudes regarding respect, values, morals, personal relationships and communication are passed on from parent to child. A parent s influence during childhood, whether good or bad, has an astounding effect on the development of the child.

Learning to respect themselves and other people is a lesson every child must learn. By witnessing the way that their parents treat other people, children learn what is, and is not socially acceptable behavior. As a result of this, if the parent is disrespectful to the child, the child will most likely be disrespectful in return, as it is how they have learned to deal with that situation. In the novel See the Child the relationship between Sky and his grandfather Paul is evidently one of great respect. Contrarily, Sky s relationship with his mother is not one of such great respect. In Sky s case, it is necessary for him too look for a role model different from his mother, as his mother had never really done a successful job of teaching him. The most evident aspect of behavior in the novel which shows the respect that Sky is lacking for his mother, and the respect that he gives his grandfather is the fact that, while Sky calls Paul Grandpa he refers to his own mother by her first name, Sky looked up suddenly. Said, as if they were peers, Where s Nicole. . (Bergen, 86) Not only does this show a lack of respect, but it also shows that Sky has learned how to be respectful from Paul. It is obvious that since Paul has demanded respect form Sky since they first met that Sky has learned from this, and treats Paul with respect. Paul taught Sky to respect him in a non-violent way; however; this is not always the case. In the novel Childhood respect is taught through fear. Thomas, the main character in this novel, respects his grandmother. Perhaps he does not respect they type of person that she is, which is very sad, but she has taught him to obey and respect her through force. There are many different ways of teaching children; Thomas grandmother used violence. I was six or seven at the time, no match for her. She had been drinking, and she had a frying pan with her. I saw it rise above me. I put my hands up to protect my head. (Alexis, 7) Thomas grandmother used fear as a tool to demand respect. In the novel The Last of the Crazy People there is a different lesson being taught about respect, obligatory respect. Hooker, a young confused boy, never really knew his father, the man is a mystery (Findley, 45) and so, he learned to respect his father because he had to. Hooker learned from his brother that there are some things that you just have to do, even if you don t know why. In the patriarchal household where Hooker lived, it was expected that father was to be honored and respected. In the development of the novel, one can see that this quality was adopted by Hooker who is known to say I m not sure why, I just did (Findley, 89). Respect can be taught in many ways and is not something that a child can learn on their own. The level of respect that one person gives another, is often the level that they find themselves receiving in return, thus it is just as important for a child to respect their parents as it is for parents to respect them in return. If there is not respect shared between parent and child, that parent may find it extremely difficult to instill strong morals and values into their child.

Values and morals are the cornerstone of our society. Mostly every family has a different set of morals and values. It is the parents job to instill them into their children so that the child will be able to respect and live by their parents’ views. It is important that a child know right from wrong, good from bad, and thus it is important that the parent takes responsibility to share what is and is not acceptable with their children. The effects of a skewed moral system could be detrimental to a child s future, as in the novel Childhood. Thomas is forced to steal for his mother, and is never taught that it is wrong to steal but is only left to determine this for himself. They we