Parenting Teenagers Essay, Research Paper
Parenting Teenagers
Parenting teenagers can be a difficult thing, but it doesn.t have to be if it is
approached correctly. There are four major parts in parenting. These are: education,
discipline, communication, and letting go. Each of these is an equally essential part of the
parenting process.
Researchers and scholars have marked adolescence as a very important
period in human development- .the fork in the road which forever shapes an individual.s-
and mankind.s- destiny.. Adolescence is the a period when a child begins to become an
adult. During this time, the adolescent starts to develop the personality and character that
will stay with them for the rest of his or her life. According to Terry Miller, adolescence is
a time when a young person decides what path they will take with his or her life. It is a
very important time when their life has a turning point and his or her future is redirected
and established. He says that, it only seems logical that a lot of thinking and planning
would go into this time of adolescence to reinforce a positive self image that is so
important to have for growth. Instead, a lot of parents and teachers aren.t ready to help
guide these .budding personalities.. Maybe they are ignorant or just dreading this
confusing, rebellious stage. But they are using techniques to .deal with. teens instead of
helping them. This usually doesn.t let teens maximize the huge potential that adolescence
offers (13).
Raising children to have good morals and high values will help in almost every
aspect of parenting. It will also help the children in almost every aspect of his or her life.
Dr. James Dobson, a famous family psychologist, says that religion is the best way to
instill these traits. Although some children don.t appreciate being told exactly what to
believe, they don.t want religion .forced down their throats.. Children want to be given a
choice in what they are going to believe. .But if the early exposure has been conducted
properly, they will have an inner mainstay to stand by them. That early indoctrination then
is the key to the spiritual attitudes they will carry into adulthood.. Even if the child
doesn.t choose to believe the what the parents believe, the child should still have to
participate in the religious activities of the family as long as he or she is living under the
parents roof. .However, the teenager should not be forced to carry the same beliefs. (55).
Dobson points out that a teenager is subjected to all of his parents ideas, beliefs,
and attitudes, which is good. It is the parents God- given responsibility to train their child
the best that they can. But there has to come a point where the child takes the things that
his parents have taught him and either accept them as the truth or rejects them as false. .If
that personal evaluation never comes, then the adolescent fails to span the gap between
.what I.ve been told. versus .What I believe.. This is one of the most important bridges
leading from childhood to adulthood. (54).
Disciplining teenagers can be a very hard thing to do. To make the consequence
reasonable enough to teach the lesson, but not so harsh that it will cause long term
feelings of resentment. According to Dr. Lee Hausner, there are four main steps in
disciplining a teenager. He says for the first step that discipline should start at a young age,
because if it doesn.t it will be nearly impossible to do it when the teenage years come.
Secondly, Hausner says that a parent needs to .be specific.. This is done by clearly
defining the behavior that they expect and the consequences that will follow if the rules are
broken. The third step is for when the rules are broken, to be sure that the consequences
are connected with the activity in some way. The fourth guideline to follow when dealing
with discipline issues is to have a list of four or five major rules that must be followed.
These rules should thing that are really important, .don.t worry about the type of clothes
that they wear or how loud that they play their music. (1).
Communication, in my opinion, is the most important tool a parent can have with
their teen. It is the key in almost every aspect of parenting. Not only is it a necessity in
parenting, but it also will develop a frienship that can last a lifetime. Without
communication parenting a teenager is definitely a hard and nearly impossible road to
travel.
A lot of times teens think that their parents don.t understand them or their
problems, points out Dr. Ferne Cherne. On the other hand, .parents are sure they never
acted the way their children do.. When parents and teenagers lack communication skills,
often requests from either group end in fights, slammed doors, yelling, and a widening of
the gap between the two generations. But with just a little bit of good communication,
teens and parents can
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