Marriages 2 Essay, Research Paper
People should have the right to choose their own life companions. They should do so by getting married to someone of their own preference, rather than their marriage being arranged.
What is an arranged marriage. An arranged marriage is a deceptively risk free option while in reality has even more risks. Because the choice made without the right questions being asked can turn out to be the wrong choice in the long run. Thus a decision made based on superficial questions rear people who are incapable of making correct decision almost in everything. Arranged marriages were predominant in the past and therefore anyone falling into these commitments at present, will face difficulties and have a hard time. They were more recognized in the Asian countries where they still exist.
Arranged marriages can be somewhat compared to blind dating. In some parts of the world such the majority of the Asian continent, certain procedures related to arranged marriages may be carried out. When a young woman reaches marriageable age, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in her best dress and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments, and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man, who would be a suitable husband for her. The person who does become the go- between, showing the packet to the potential bridegroom and, if both parties are interested, arranging a meeting between them.( The man provides photograph and information as well.) such meetings often take place in the restaurant of a posh hotel. The go-between is present, usually along with the representatives from both families. If the young couple feel inclined, they will begin dating, with marriage as a possibility, and thus remain miserable for the rest of her life because the decision is not what she favored but rather would take the decision in order to secure and lead a good life, rather than realize what her future holds for her with the person she is going to spend the rest of her life with; someone who she hardly knows and vice versa . This consequence results as the most important ingredient for a successful marriage, LOVE, is missing.
By referring to examples, statistics, facts, my own experiences and experiences of others, as evidence, arranged marriage can be presented as a problem. Arranged marriages take place mainly in most of the third world , or Asian countries such as India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh ,as well as the Arabic speaking communities, the Turkish, Greek, Fijian, some parts of Europe, in Australia s Lebanese, Filipino communties, within Muslim, Hindu and other religious groups. For example because of the unsuccessful consequences, the proportion of arranged marriages in Japan vary from 25 to 50 percent. These kind of practices are also carried out in Australia s ethnic communities. One example that can be used here to describe the unfairness of arranged marriages can be expressed in the story of Rindi who was 22, when she met Mark , a TAFE teacher in a western Sydney college where she studied laboratory techniques part-time. They became friends ,and she confided in him about her life at home with her Indian born parents and close relatives in a north-western Sydney suburb. She was srictly supervised by her parents, brothers and in-laws, and her brothers often threatened to beat her for disobedience. One day she told him she was to be forced into marriage. ” I didn t believe they could dothis, it scared Rindi very much,” says Mark. Her family advertised for ahusband, and had two replies with photographs. One man was known to the family in India. ” He d had a reasonable education and they thought he could solidify the family network.” Rindi asked Mark if he could help her escape the marriage. They planned for her to fly to New Zealand wher a brother lived whom she trusted to help her. ” Rindi always talked about having her own freedom, because she never had it at home,” says Mark. In several visits , she secretly transferred her belongings to Mark s flat. He lent her $400 for the airfare,as her earnings were paid into the account that only her mother could access. They said good bye at the airport. ” It was a sad parting , as if she had suddenly realised what it meant to be walking away from the life she knew.” But only a week later Rindi was back home; her brother tricked her into coming back home by telling her that her father had suffered a stroke. When she next contacted Mar, she seemed to be have resigned herself to fate. “I m sacrificing my life for my family,” she told him in a brief phone call. Her family were keeping a close watch on her and would not allow her out of the house by herself. A week later Rindi was taken by her mother to India, to be married. Other incidents may be in the backward villages and some posh parts of countries such as India and Pakistan, where the daughter is engaged at birth and has no right to choose, or even have a guy as a friend. This may have very bad consequences and effects on the girl s upbringing and frame of my mind. Another example can be given in reference to countries such as India and Pakistan, where the arranging of marriages is so common that not only are the couples the biggest part of the marriage but all the relatives, as well.
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