Gender And Conflcit Essay Research Paper The

Gender And Conflcit Essay, Research Paper

The Gender Differences in Conflict

The purpose of my research is to examine the differences between men and women when it comes to conflict in their relationships. I am defining a relationship as a friendship, romantic, or unromantic association. Conflict is something that is generally present at one time or another during a relationship. If a conflict is not resolved, this could lead to the dissolution of the relationship. By examining the differences in the way each gender handles conflict, conflict should be easier to overcome. Not only how each gender handles conflict, but how each perceives it as well. If there is a significant difference in the way men handle x conflict and women handle x conflict, this can be used as a tool by knowing how each other will react. Research on this topic is important because most people are involved in relationships that will go through conflict at some point in the association. No matter how educated one is, conflict is going to be an obstacle to overcome. Knowing the gender differences when it comes to conflict will helps us explore methods and techniques that can be used to resolve conflicts. Conflict is a natural part of a relationship. Conflicts can occur in even the healthiest relationships. Unfortunately, conflict always seems to have such a negative connotation to it. Understanding conflict can make you a better communicator in your personal relationships.

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Present studies suggest that women are more likely than men to assert themselves when attempting to resolve a relationship conflict (Hojjat, 2000). Men, however, tend to avoid direct conflict and engage in conflict management behaviors that range from

conciliatory to avoidant (Hojjat, 2000). My belief is that this can come down to the biological innate differences within men and women. It has been suggested (Hojjat, 2000) that women can cope with conflict within the context of strong negative affects much more competently than can men. Men recover more slowly from autonomic nervous system reactivity than do women (Hojjat, 2000). Therefore, men might be more inclined to avoid exposure to negative affectivity and, therefore, to autonomic nervous system activation than women. Hessink, Kluwer, & Van De Vliert, also supports the research done by Hojjat (2000) that gender differences in conflict can be based in physiological arousal.

Both men and women perceive men as more avoidant of emotional discussion and are more willing to smooth things over. Women, however, perceive themselves, compared to men as more expressive of their negative emotions. In addition, men saw themselves as more willing to compromise than women did (Hojjat, 2000). The belief that if in fact men are more apt to compromise in the conflict, this just goes back to the fact that men do not want to be in the conflict in the first place. Compromising will generally be the quickest way to work through the conflict.

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Demand/withdraw is a pattern that appeared up in every journal reviewed. One spouse/partner attempts to engage in a discussion, resorting to pressure and demands, while the other attempts to avoid conflict and withdraws from the discussion The social

structure perspective of the demand/withdraw communication posits the power differences between men and women, which is area of major determinant of the demand/withdraw pattern (Hessick, 2000). It is typically males who withdraw (Ridley, Wilhelm, & Surra , 2001). Although, this could depend on whether or not the couple in the conflict is married or dating. Mixed results are found when it comes to married couples during demand/withdraw pattern. Some results (Ridley et al., 2001) show that both husbands and wives may take on the role of the person who withdraws. Hessink et al., (2000) found that women tend to demand and men tend to withdraw in marital conflict. Why do women demand and why do men withdraw in close relationships. Hojjat (2000) claims that men have developed a self-differentiate from others, whereas women have developed a self-relation to others. This gender difference permeates social interactions and it predicts women to be pursuing in their search for connectedness, whereas it predicts men to withdraw in the pursuit of autonomy. I believe that when it comes to getting into conflict men avoid and withdraw more than women but, once in the conflict men compromise more than women.

Unfortunately there were no clear-cut reasons as to why one chooses to withdraw from the conflict. Ridley et al., (2001) suggest that partners may withdraw in order to

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calm themselves, to maintain control, or because they have emotionally turned away from the relationship. Another explanation (Ridley et al., 2001) is that one partner attempts to

calm another or accommodate to his or her aggressive behavior. Romantic partners tend to distract the other from unexpressed thoughts and feelings under relationship stress.

Hessick et al., (2000) shows that relationship experiences such as conflict avoidance are related to the individuals attachment to the relationship. Whether or not a couple is married or not affects their response to the conflict. Based on the assumptions that partners in an on going relationship have reciprocal influence on each other, it is

argued that confl